Conversation Starter: What’s Your Love Language?

One thing that I've noticed about communicating love is that one act is understood differently by each person depending on the love language. For example, attending a friend's performance. To a person whose love language is quality time, you taking the time out of your schedule to support the event is communicated as love to them. To a person whose love language is words of affirmation, you saying how well they performed is communicated as love to them. To a person whose love language is gifts, you giving them flowers after the show is communicated as love to them. To a person whose love language is physical touch, you greeting them with a hug after the performance is communicated as love to them. Finally, to a person whose love language is acts of service, you taking them/bringing them home from the performance is communicated as love to them....What's your love language?

The question: What's Your Love Language? was the topic of the latest group discussion I attended. The discussion was based on Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Language  

The ability to express love is something we can all do; however, we express and receive it differently and knowing this will help us to communicate and understand how to love each other. 

When we think of love, our immediate thought may be of a romantic relationship; however, we express love and affection in a variety of contexts and relationships.  Therefore, knowing each Love Language will help you in your ability to communicate love to your friends, colleagues, and family in addition to your boy/girlfriend or wife/husband. 

The Five Love Languages are:

1. Word of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

My primary love language is Quality Time.  I love spending time with the people I love.  I love doing taking part in activities as long as we do it together.  I also enjoy quality conversation, which is probably why I enjoy attending and hosting group discussions so much.  Check out this blog post talking about the reasons why you should attend or host a group discussion too: Events that Create Approachable Opportunities - Organized Group Discussions 

Do you want to know your love language? Take this quiz to find out -> Love Language Assessment


What was interesting about this last discussion is that the majority of the people that attended also had quality time as their love language.  When I think of it, this result is not surprising because the act of having a group discussion equates to having a quality conversation which is what people who have quality time as their love language love to do.  

We also discussed whether our primary love language would be different in a romantic relationship as oppose to other relationships.  We agreed that it would be the same; however, some of the males noted that physical touch may be weighted more in a romantic relationship. Interesting thought, no?


Why Should "What's Your Love Language?" be a Conversation Starter...
If you know what your love language is, don't be afraid to express it among the people you love so that they know exactly how to express love to you.  In addition, learn the love language of those you love so that you can express their love language to them. Your love ones love language may not come natural to you but you owe it to them to express love in their language because that is the only way they will understand that you love them.  


This topic doesn't need to be the first question you ask but it should be a question that you ask directly or find out indirectly in the future so that your relationship with the person can continue to flourish :)