I was impressed to throw this question out to my friends on facebook, as well as my colleagues at work, to see what responses I would get and the results indicated the following:
There was an even split between the ladies who were okay with it and the ladies who were not okay with it. While one male respondent said no with a disclaimer. He indicated that it would be okay if after a rapport was developed.
Results of my offline discussion, with the majority married females participants, indicate that they thought it was okay. While my offline discussion with a male who is currently dating said no, it was not okay as his answer.
Overall, those who were okay with asking someone out on a date with a text with disclaimers. Just like the male who originally said no but said that it would be okay after rapport was established, the females thought it would be okay if the guy who was asking was shy or if they were already “chatting it up” and he finds a way to slip that question in. A few recommended to go with the flow and not to get hung up over the text, make it a big deal or over analyze it. Many agreed to give the date a chance. It was also noted that it is easier for the person asking to hear a no through a text then in person so don’t give them a hard time. The statement that stuck out to me the most was this one:
“If the choice is between texting and calling, it is calling 110% but if it happens to be a text...don’t make it a huge deal.” - Female respondent
Out of those who said no, it was noted by one person that texting should be used to make logistically statements , like “I’m running late” and not to be used for meaningful conversation like asking someone out on a date. Many preferred to ask (male respondent) or be asked (female respondents) in person and noted that texting can potentially indicate a red flag of concern. For instances, is this a person that will only use technology to say what he may not be able to say in person? Since texting takes no effort, is this a person who doesn’t put effort into things? Another person said that a person may be awesome behind technology but when you meet them it’s another story. Expressed by one person was the possibility that once they think it’s okay to ask you out on a date through text they will then break-up with you or propose through text. The statements that stuck out to me the most were the following:
“When u ask a person out on a date u r trying to get to kno that person on a personal level and personally I think doing so by text is impersonal - the whole thing is oxymoronic” - Female respondent
“It’s the small things that makes the impact” - Male respondent
My thoughts on this...
We live in an age where the use of technology is now the popular mode of communication. Even businesses are now inviting you to like them on facebook and to follow them on twitter more than they invite you to visit their business in person. As a result, we are becoming more comfortable to communicate and stay in touch with people via the internet. This is mode of communication is now acceptable amongst our friends and as a result it is now moving into being acceptable in dating.
If someone wants to ask, "Can I take you out on a date?" I would prefer to be asked over the phone or in person; however, I too am a slave to technology and will text and use internet to communicate. So with that being said, I can see how someone can end up using that as a means to ask me out on a date...but am I okay with it? Not totally and it depends on the context. If we are texting back and forth and you find a way to say what are you up to today and ask me if I want to hang out that day then that's cool. But if you randomly shoot a text, Can I take you out on a date? with out any preceding texts to lead up to it, I'm not impressed...
The DIFFERENCE...the formality...
With the first example, he casually wanted to just hang out.
The second example, he formally asked me out on a date...
With that last example, I must agree with the respondents who said that they were not okay with that. If you are going to formally ask me out, please do it in person (or over the phone). But at the same time, I wouldn't deny you the date because you asked me out through text.
So in short, if you want to make a good impression, ask a lady out on a date over the phone or even in person. If you use technology to ask someone out on a date, do not, I repeat DO NOT formally ask them. Instead, say "we should hang out". However, if someone does ask you out on a date via text (or some other form of technology) be open to the date but maybe talk about it at the date so that he will choose to ask you out via the phone or person next time.
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